Week 39

The last couple of days can be summed up in one word: FRUSTRATING. Even thinking back on them is frustrating. After all the progress of Monday, I wasn't sure if I wanted my doctor to check if I was farther along. It's not exactly a pleasant thing to do, and I didn't want to be disappointed in the answer. After waiting about 40 minutes past my appointment time, I was finally called into the exam room where I talked to the nurse about it. She said I should talk to the doc and decide together. He came in, and we decided that we should check-so he left. He came back a while later, checked my belly (grew an inch), listened to the heartbeat (140s), and checked the progress (dilated to 3, baby indeed dropped). He told me that means she "could come next week, in two weeks, or tonight." Gee, that helps. He only has office hours on Monday next week, so I have an appointment with another doctor, and he told me he'd have his pager on him all week but won't be available on Friday as he's going camping with his boys. Great. Friday's my due date. He said to get dressed and we'd chat some more. So he left and I got dressed-and he never came back. By 6:30 my apt. was at 4:20) I was downright mad so I just left. He was on the phone, and no one else was around. My biggest puzzle is why do I keep rushing out of work to get to my appointments on time??

My contractions started while I was at the doctor. They were very mild, so I didn't think much of them. However, they continued all night. I woke up at least every hour in intense pain throughout my abdomen and lower back. They must have subsided around 3 a.m. because I awoke with a start to my alarm clock. I've had more contraction here and there all day, but nothing consistent. I feel like my body is betraying me, making me feel like I'll finally get to hold little Brianna but giving me nothing. Luckily, next week is a two day work week, so I think I can handle it. I keep reminding myself the longer I hold out, the better for Bri-and the closer my maternity leave is to the holidays which means easing myself back into working and leaving my two babies at home.